You’re invited . . .” are always popular and welcome words around the holidays. If you’re like me, you love to host a party. But if you’re a hostess with the “leastest” amount of time, a party is a lot of work. Entertaining requires considerable planning and preparation because there are so many things to do.

Think about the parties you’ve attended and what made them special. Was it the food, guests, laughs, decorations, ambience? The parties I liked best were the ones that touched me in a personal way. A special party creates lasting memories for you and your guests. No matter who is on the guest list, the basics of organizing a party are almost always the same. What’s different is how you customize the details. Here are my tips to get you started:

* Make a master list of what must be done a month, week and day in advance and don’t forget the day-after cleanup.

* Decide what kind of menu you want as far ahead as possible and whether you want a sit-down dinner or a buffet. Think about every course from hors d’oeuvres, to appetizers, salads and dressings, breads, entrees, vegetables, desserts and beverages. Always include some healthy and low-calorie selections. Prepare and freeze whatever you can, so you don’t have to do it all in one day. Home baked cookies and brownies can be stored in tins; roasts, cooked the day before, can be served cold. Nibbles like crudités can be chopped and stored in plastic bags in the refrigerator. Order specialty items from the florist, butcher and bakery, and extra chairs and tables in advance.

* Buffets are usually easier than sit-down dinners. Avoid anything that can spoil when left out for hours. Utensils and napkins should be available everywhere there is food and drink. Tie silverware and napkins together with festive ribbons and a candy cane. Buy paper napkins with fun and witty sayings or personalized with your name or initials on them. Decorate tabletops with spray-painted gold pinecones, holiday ornaments and candles.

* Make or buy plenty of ice cubes and place them in a large galvanized tin bucket decorated with a big red ribbon. Using food coloring, make festive red and green ice cubes. To cut down on misplaced glasses and wasted beverages, buy holiday wine charms for every glass. For coffee or tea, use colored sugars or rock sugar stirrers instead of regular sugar.

* Before the party starts, place cloves, cinnamon and orange peels on a baking sheet in the oven. Set on a low temperature for an hour; the heavenly aroma will fill your house for hours. Mull spiced cider in a large pot on your stove for a warm winter drink with a holiday fragrance.

* Make your guests feel welcome from the instant they arrive. Line the driveway with luminarias and decorate the front of your house and lawn to set a celebratory mood. Place a guest book at the front door for expressing sentiments.

Family Parties

Ask guests to bring a family photo to make a personalized ornament for your tree. Childhood photos make great place cards for a sit-down dinner. Begin a family album, highlighting favorite recipes, anecdotes, pictures, and memorabilia. Include a family tree with small pictures.

Parties For Neighbors

Enlist at least two outgoing guests to help you make introductions. Instead of gifts, organize a future neighborhood activity where everyone can pitch in such as a spring planting, a summer block party, an Easter egg hunt, or autumn leaf raking. Give gift certificates of time to each other, offering to shovel snow in the winter, take care of pets while someone is vacationing, or baby-sit a newborn so parents can have a night out.

Parties For Co-workers

Organize a “Secret Santa” giveaway or ask your guests to bring funny gifts for a grab bag. Holidays are a good opportunity to meet the families of co-workers. Plan activities that allow everyone to mingle and learn more about each other. Ask guests with special talents to entertain. An aspiring magician can perform magic, someone who has a great voice can read “A Christmas Carol,” and someone who likes to sing can lead the caroling.

The goal of a holiday party is to put everyone in a festive mood and set the tone for the coming year. With advance planning and preparation, the host will be relaxed and everyone will have a good time!

Aunt Edna is upset because Cousin Billy is bringing his new girlfriend, and she doesn’t think she should have to buy her a gift. Sue and Harry’s family can only come on the Saturday before the holiday, and Aunt Judy insists that everything be home cooked. Considering the obstacles and opinions, why will Americans mob the airports and highways this holiday season, as they do every year, to attend gatherings with their extended families?

“People need to feel that connectedness,” surmises Charlotte Shoup Olsen, an associate professor of family studies and extension specialist at Kansas State University in Manhattan, Kan. “When everyone is together you get that sense of being part of a bigger community — not in the sense that you live close by, but just in a sense of belonging. Holidays, especially, offer a good opportunity to build that family history together.”

According to a recent poll conducted by Harris Interactive and sponsored by Modern Woodmen of America, Rock Island, Ill., 90 percent of Americans attend a holiday event such as Thanksgiving or Christmas with extended family.

“Nearly all Americans in our survey (99 percent) feel it’s good for children to know their relatives and family history,” comments Sharon Snawerdt of Modern Woodmen. Modern Woodmen, a fraternal benefit society offering financial services, promotes strong family relationships through its many member programs as well as its Web site, www.gatherings.info.

Snawerdt adds, “Ninety percent of survey respondents indicated that spending time with extended family is one of the most important parts of their lives.”

Family Feuds

The holidays are a time for “peace on earth,” but that doesn’t stop Uncle Joe from fighting with Aunt Helen.

“Holidays are a time when people come home, and grown, mature adults will fall back into those old childhood roles in the family and past hard feelings resurface,” explains Olsen. “Big sis just can’t get over feeling that baby brother was spoiled rotten, even if they are both in their 40s.”

Olsen says that all family members should be included in the invitation, even the black sheep or the two family members having a feud.

“If someone refuses to come because so and so will be there, there is nothing you can do about it,” she says. “That is his or her baggage.”

Olsen offers some tips for how to handle family members who may not like to be in the same room with one another.

* Appoint a neutral member of the family to take on the role of mediator. (This person should use humor and tact to encourage guests to avoid touchy subjects. In other words, if Uncle Joe starts discussing Grandpa’s will, the mediator should gracefully make it known that this isn’t the appropriate time to bring up that topic.)

* Assign seats using place cards.

* Set up smaller table arrangements throughout the house.

* Limit alcoholic beverages. Alcohol makes some people braver and more confrontational.

Giving and Receiving

It wouldn’t be the holidays without gift giving, but as families grow larger many struggle with how to handle it. Olsen offers these tips:

* A grab bag. In this system, set a price limit and have each guy bring a guy gift and each gal bring a gal gift.

* A drawing. Each participant planning to attend the event draws a name from a hat (or via phone or email) and brings a gift for only that person.

* A homemade gift exchange. Crafts, food items and artwork are good suggestions. This is for the family willing to invest some time, but not as much money.

* A “time” gift certificate exchange. These can feature anything from snow shoveling to babysitting services.

* A kids-only exchange.

* A collection of donations for the local food pantry or group sponsorship of a needy family.

Finally, Olsen suggests forgoing the gift giving altogether and replacing it with activities even more meaningful. Modern Woodmen’s www.gatherings.info Web site offers a host of tips for making your family gathering fun. Aside from the standard board games and card games, your family may want to try these ideas:

* Games and Activities

– “Picture Lotto” – Make your own game using copies of your family pictures.

– “Frosty” – Use some toilet paper, construction paper and family teams to have some family fun in this interactive game.

– “Unwrap the Gift” – This game uses a bag of candy or small gift items, a multi-layer-wrapped gift box and some music to create fun for the very young, as well as the adults.

* Scrapbook, photography and video ideas

– A Family Time Capsule – It can’t get much easier than videotaping the festivities to save for posterity. You can incorporate interviews with family members asking them to share their favorite memories or a song.

– Gathering Scrapbook – More than compiling a multifaceted record of a gathering, creating scrapbooks can be a rewarding. At your next family event have each family create a page. Take pictures that day thinking about each family, so you can get a representative sample. When the film is developed, place the appropriate pictures with that family’s page. Compile together and share at your next gathering.

“The important part of gift giving isn’t so much what you get, but prolonging the family time together,” says Olsen. “Instead of a gift exchange, you can think of activities or games to do together. You can sing carols or look over photo albums. You can view family videos or make a video heirloom. Any holiday tradition is an opportunity beyond eating to spend time together. You have a short amount of time together, but you want to make it a good memory for the whole year.”

“That’s one gift everyone will appreciate.”

Trimming the tree is an activity that captures the holiday spirit and reflects personal style. The decorating team at Canadian Tire suggests these new ways to dress up your holiday tree. Pick an entirely new theme or incorporate fresh touches to complement an existing look.

Top tree decorating trends

When considering a theme to complement your home décor, consider lighting, colour combinations, textures, and the mixing and matching of various materials.

• Modern metals – a contemporary, glowing look that starts with metals such as warm coppers, antique iron, glittery gold, rustic brushed tin or shiny silverplate. Mix with matte or shiny glass balls and metallic stars. Glitzy ribbon garland completes the look.

• Dramatic velvets – Velvet touches in rich red, blue or black can begin with tree decorations and carry through to the tree skirt, stockings and table linens.

• Red is hot – Traditional red looks new this year, when put with silver accents. Start with silver-beaded snowflakes, add aluminum and wire figures and deck with silvery garlands to complement rich red ornaments.

• Exotic ornamentation – Think beading, embroidery, Indian silks and jacquards. Add touches of elegance with jewel-tone glass ornaments trimmed with gold flourishes, beaded stars and snowflakes, sequined balls and beaded tassels such as those available at Canadian Tire.Instead of tinsel, try using beaded garland.

Tree chic

Tree decorating is fun and easy to do in any size space if you select the right tree:

• Pre-lit trees save you having to string lights on the tree and are available with multi-coloured or clear white lights.

• Fibre-optic lit trees are novel and have a bit of a retro look at the same time.

• Small spaces require a narrow tree. Look for slim-line artificial trees, such as the 7 1/2-foot Greenwich Pine sold at Canadian Tire.

• Tabletop trees are ideal when there is no floor space available.

Buy a tree – help a family!

During the holiday season at Canadian Tire stores across Canada, $5 from the sale of every full size artificial tree will be donated to the Canadian Tire Foundation for Families to benefit local charities. The Foundation for Families is committed to helping families in times of need to ensure that life’s basic needs are met — food, shelter, clothing and essential goods.

If you are invited to an Italian home this Christmas chances are you will be served panettone. Or it could be the reverse. If someone of Italian decent is invited to your home this Christmas there is a very good chance they will bring a panettone. Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without the traditional fruit bread of the old country.

But this is bread with flare. Not only is it packaged festively in shimmering gold wrap for the holidays, it is also shaped like a tall cake – a bit like a chef’s hat – and its ingredients of natural yeast, eggs and butter with candied fruit and raisins, make for great diversity at holiday mealtimes.

“If you serve it on a dessert table, consider warming it in a medium oven for a few minutes and then topping it with ice cream,” says John-Paul Violante, spokesperson for Motta. “You may also receive tartufone, containing chocolate drops, or Il Pandoro frosted with white sugar, all of which are a delicious dessert treat on their own or with a favourite topping.

“It is also a custom to serve panettone at breakfast or brunch during the holidays. Its naturally leavened texture makes excellent toast, or even french toast, and many people simply like the fruit bread with butter and jam. At parties it is such a symbol of celebration it may be offered while you are sipping champagne.”

The panettone phenomenon started in Milan at the turn of the last century, when bakers like Angelo Motta started experimenting with natural yeast. Within a few years the combination of eggs, butter and natural yeast transformed Motta’s previously dense breads, turning them soft and light. The new bread also rose much higher than expected and it is well documented that the new panettone actually created a disturbance on the streets of Milan. During the holiday season of 1921, the crowds waiting for a peak outside the Motta Bakery had to be controlled by police.

Today, no less than 292,000 kilograms (650,000 pounds) of panettone are sent to North America every year. “Do check the label however,” Violante cautioned, ” to make sure your purchase originates from Italy, even if the packaging appears to be Motta. There are fakes of lower quality hitting Canadian shops from places like Peru.

“Authentic panettone is comparatively low in calories,” he said. “The nutritional value listed on the Motta product indicates the ratio between carbohydrates, protein and fat is well balanced. A 100g serving of panettone for example, provides fewer calories than the same weight in crackers.

“Nutritional value plays a minimal role however in our newest product, Tartufone la Pralina,” Violante grinned. “La Pralina is not cake or bread at all, but is rich and dark chocolate candy. These chocolates are packaged in a slim decorative container, just the right size for a Christmas stocking – and if you keep a few of them on hand they could make a classy little gift for unexpected guests.”

Want to save $1000 this year for very little effort? Gift giving is an area where impulse buying is a frequent occurrence. I was amazed to discover I was spending over $1500 or more per year for gifts. What have you spent for gifts in the last 12 months?

In my experience, gifts were last minute purchases for which money was no object. I now spend less than $500 per year for gifts. Take two hours of your life and save yourself $1000 or more per year on gift giving.

Get Prepared

Label 12 manila folders January – December. On the front of each monthly folder, write the days of the month. Next to the appropriate date on the folder, write in the occasion for which a gift and/or a card will need to be purchased. Then, write the amount of money you will spend on that gift. Inevitably, a wedding or birthday will come up that you didn’t know about, so be sure you leave a little money left for these unexpected occasions.

The key is, don’t exceed what you budgeted for each gift. For example, for Mother’s Day, I will write $15 next to the holiday. I only allocate $400 for the known holidays and set aside $100 for the unexpected gifts such as a wedding or birth of a child. You may find that you are unable to budget $500 a year for gift giving. Just determine what you can afford and STICK WITH IT. Don’t deviate from your budget.

Advance Planning

There are very real benefits to planning your gift-giving in advance. And, with a little creativity, you can bring your overall cost down substantially. Because you’re prepared, you can actually enjoy the holidays. You won’t feel financially strapped since you’ve budgeted for the gifts in advance. Since you’ve anticipated the gift-giving occasion, you will undoubtedly find the gifts on sale. It goes without saying, but the ideas is, NEVER PAY RETAIL – EVER!

Frugal Gift Ideas

Buy gift-wrap and greeting cards on sale, or better yet, make them yourself.

Shop for gifts all year long to get the best price. This may mean you could be buying Christmas cards in January.

Plant an herb garden for a friend. And, while you’re at it, make one for yourself too.

Treat your partner/spouse to a homemade spa. Give him/her a gift certificate announcing a full one-hour body massage and facial. This gift is easily worth over $75!

Organize personal negatives and photographs for a friend or family member. Create a scrapbook, photo books, or even Photo CDs.

Make some creative hand puppets for a child if you have mismatched socks and buttons lying around your home.

Create a care package for a friend who recently got a new job. In a box or basket put some instant coffee, tea bags, aspirin, bandages, travel size toothpaste and toothbrush, along with a coffee cup.

If the friend is a female, add some trial size products such as perfume and hair spray. If you want to increase the value of the gift, give a portable umbrella.

Design a similar package for a recent high-school graduate student who will be entering college. You may want to even provide a $5 phone card instead of an umbrella.

Buy movie tickets… a gift where one size fits all. When movie tickets are purchased in advance from movie theatres, you can usually get them at half price!

Offer to make dinner for your friends if you’re a good cook.

Give a single friend or elderly family member freshly frozen dinners for a week.

Mail out holiday cards for an elderly family member. if you’re computer literate, put their address book into a database so the information can easily be updated.

Make a year’s worth of greeting cards and personalized stationery for someone if you’re a bit crafty.

Make enough birthday cards, anniversary cards, and blank cards for a year’s worth of holidays. The thoughtfulness will go a long way throughout the year.

Help someone else get organized. If the person you need to give a gift to is an entrepreneur or extremely disorganized, make a filing system for the upcoming tax year.

Purchase gift-with-purchase cosmetic/perfume specials and split the gifts. Usually the gift is nicely wrapped, generic, and valuable enough to give away for an upcoming gift in your tickler file.

Getting Organized

In a drawer or closet, place the gift giving manila files, the greeting cards, gift-wrap and purchased gifts in chronological order. This is now your tickler file and shopping list to remind you what holiday is coming up.

Do you remember when the Christmas season was less of a hassle and more of a joyous time spent with family and friends? Back in the day, families just seemed to have enough time to sit back and enjoy the holiday season. Today, on the other hand, many people get harried, rushed and basically stressed out during the Christmas holiday. There just seems to be no time to enjoy any of life’s simple pleasures when there is so much shopping and entertaining to squeeze in during a short period of time.

Take trimming the tree for instance. As a kid, I can remember the whole family gathered around the tree, Christmas music blaring in the background, warm home-baked cookies and cool milk in our tummies, as each of us took a turn to place our most precious and beloved ornaments on the tree. And when we got done trimming our Christmas tree, we loaded up and went to Grandma’s and started the whole thing over. It was a time of being together, a time of love, laughter and celebration that the whole family slowed down to enjoy and appreciate.

Now, fast forward… I’m not going to say how many years; that would be too revealing. Let’s just say to today. In many households the act of trimming the tree has evolved into more of a hectic holiday task than a chance to enjoy and celebrate the season. I’ve even heard many moan and groan about having to put up the Christmas tree when they got home from work. If this is the way things are at your house around the holidays, maybe you should think about hosting a tree trimming party to recapture that holiday spirit.

A Christmas tree trimming party can turn what was once viewed as a tedious chore into a joyous holiday gathering with your closest friends and loved ones. All you need is a tree, decorations, a few appetizers and your favorite people.

Here’s how you can host a tree trimming party at your home during this Christmas season.

· Invitations. With so many competing functions to attend, even your closest relatives can forget an event if you only invite them informally. By sending out invitations, you can formally invite your closest family and friends and give them the sense that this is something worth attending. Invitations do not have to be expensive. You can pick up simple cookie-cutter invitations at the dollar store or party supply store. You can also print invitations up on your computer.

· Ornaments. Ask each of your guests to bring an inexpensive or homemade ornament to hang on your tree. In years to come, when you unpack these ornaments, you will be reminded of the special people who attended your tree trimming party and the memories that you created.

· Appetizers. While you do not need to plan a lavish banquet to serve your guests, you should serve a wide variety of appetizers which include hot and cold entrees and a little bit of the sweet stuff. If you have family members or friends who are health conscious or follow specific diets, keep them in mind also while you’re preparing the menu.

· Setup. Place beverages and appetizers on several tables or counters, in a room separate from the tree, in a way that guests can flow freely around the buffet to choose their favorite munchies. Nobody likes to have to fight or squeeze their way through a tight crowd to refill their drink or get a little something to nibble on. The same thing goes for the “tree trimming room.” Place ornaments openly on tables so that guests can move about freely and their special touch to the tree at will. Also make sure that there is plenty of space for guests to mingle and move throughout the house.

As you can see, a tree trimming party can be a great way to get a holiday chore done while enjoying precious time with your family and friends in a casual atmosphere. If you do not want to host a Christmas tree trimming party in your home every year, you can pass the torch on to other family members so that you can trim a tree at a different home each year but still get to spend quality time together.

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The annual holidays can be a very stressful time for your cat. This is the time of the year when that strange tree goes up, bright trinkets are hung (but all your cat hears is “No, no, bad kitty!” when she tries to explore them), delicious food is prepared (cats need not apply to eat it!), and lots of strange people come tramping into the house.

Some cats are in their glory, being in the middle of the tree decoration tradition, while others react to differences in the household by cowering in fear. Plus, if the holidays stress you out (raise your hand if they don’t; the rest of us would like to know your secret), it’ll be communicated to
kitty, and she may react in kind. And sometimes that fear and stress manifests itself in your cat urinating outside her litter box.

Here are three steps you can do to reduce holiday stress for your cat.

First, keep the household changes to a minimum. Think about where you might put the Christmas tree. If you put the tree
in a place that normally belongs to kitty, she could be mighty upset with you. Her reaction could range from hiding for days to urinating underneath the tree, if not trying to pull it down. Look for a location that pleases both the human and animal population in your house. If that’s not
possible, and knowing how cats can be, you’ll have to settle for pleasing one or the other. My bet is it’s whoever pays
the bills.

My cat Scout thinks the Christmas tree is a new litter box location. She’ll urinate on the tree cover. That’s a treat to clean! I have to keep a plastic liner under the tree to facilitate the clean up. I make double certain to keep all the litter boxes clean, but she feels a need to express herself creatively at this time of the year. It’s her way to contributing to the tree decorating tradition.

Next, if you own a scaredy kitty, confine her to a safe room when hosting holiday events in your home. If possible, confine your kitty in a place that guests won’t stumble in. Put her food, water, and a clean litter box in the room. Stop in from time to time to reassure her that it’s alright.

If there aren’t adequate hiding spots in her room, think about putting a box or large paper bag in with her, and encourage her to burrow in it.

Finally, purchase some natural flower essence compounds to put in her food or water all during the holiday season.
There are several good remedies that are recommended for situational stress. Add a few drops in kitty’s food or water
twice a day, and you’ll see results within 24 hours. Flowering essences are also safe for human consumption, so if you’re contemplating a fall into insanity, take a few drops yourself!

You can also purchase synthetic hormone substances that come pre-packaged in a bottle that plugs into any electrical
outlet in your home. This remedy lasts approximately a month.

Good luck, and happy holidays to you and your family – humans and animals!